Raise your hand if you recently purchased milk!

...

no, don't raise your hand, you didn't buy milk. i'm not stupid. see, i didn't buy milk either. i STOLE it. its easy. heres professor wheresmine's easy many-step guide to stealing.

1. slide along the wall into the vicinity of the area of the region of the spot you'll be stealing from. make sure you don't attract suspicion by walking upright, lifting your feet off the floor or looking anyone in the eye. try to speak constantly to yourself in a hushed whisper, too, to appear casual. just make sure you're not talking about stealing!

2. walk up to the machine you're going to steal from, whether it be the soda fountain, the hot water thing, the hot chocolate thing or my personal favorite, the milk machine. (if you're not stealing drinks from a cafeteria then i can't help you. when you're ready to graduate from stealing piddling crap like tvs and want to pilfer milk like the big boys, let me know.)

3. pour your drink into a sealable container and loudly declare, "now to go sit down and drink this here in the cafeteria dining area!" that way people around will just nod, convinced that you have no intent to steal.

4. sprint out like a mad man. if you drop anything, don't go back for it, keep running. that harry potter backpack will just slow you down, and in the world of stealing it's every object for himself.

and there you have it! steal to your heart's content, you have my blessing. well, not really. but it's not like you care.

REVIEW
katamari damacy
5 stars (out of 5)

its crazy and japanese, but DAMN if it isnt a delight to listen to!