this is one hell of a government we got here, huh? well, i got some problems with it.

this two party thing blows. Having only two major parties is the main reason why america has become so polarized. people are led to follow party lines and base their beliefs along with their parties (Im throwing liberals in with the dems and conservatives in with the gop). pardon my american, but how fucking stupid is that? how else can you explain liberals supporting abortion but being against the death penalty? or conservatives being assholes?

the point is you cant trust anyone because all this one track thinking has caused everyone to be insane and idiotic. people on both sides of the aisle will pray for misfortune as long as it hurts the other party. people on both sides of the aisle will willingly omit the truth and twist the facts in order to cover their asses. Possibly most importantly, they are programed to hate and destroy anyone who doesn't have their political slant, regardless of how nice or smart or level headed or honest they are, and regardless of how well they do. in fact, the more successful they are, the more theyre going to be hated. look at bill clinton. or stalin.

dont cry, though, because uncle jamie has the solution. as of today i have disolved the congress, both parties, all that crap. its all me now.

[energetic rioting ensues]

whoa, hey, knock it the fuck off, all right? you voted for me! i'm the god damn president, i can do whatever i want!...

...what the fuck are you so upset about!?!? im not doing this for ME, im doing this for you! because the parties were bad shit! oh fine, have it your way.

...i dont mean literally! i mean, like, in your head, think what you want, but the fact remains, im youre god damn leader now! HEY! EVERYONE SHUT UP! DO YOU LIKE SIERRA MIST?

REVIEW
Sierra Mist
3 Stars (out of 5)

this stuff is interesting, because it sits comfortably between 7 up and sprite on the flavor scale, easily the equal of the other two brands when it comes to sales. thing is, this stuffs only been around for like 4 years! thats nuts! name another pop that has had this much success against established brands so fast? it all comes down to how much money those bastards are willing to spend.