holy fug. i dont want to alarm anyone, but blogger just upgraded, or something, and now its way better. i can change font colors! and do this!
 
...
 
ok, my connection here at home is too slow to post pictures. but i could if i want to. which leads me to this!
 
jamie's guide to masturbation!
 
RULE #1:
 
do it a lot. like, every waking moment. (or every WANKING moment! HAHAHAHAHA)
 
RULE #2:
 
practice your technique at every opprotunity. people will laugh as you vigorously rub a water bottle, but it's probably a coincidence and has nothing to do with your behavior.
 
RULE #3
 
if youre a girl, let your guy friends watch. they wont enjoy it at all....its not like they make porn like that....but you should let them watch anyway, because....it.....um......reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
 
RULE #4
 
If youre a guy, put the dog fancy magazines back in the normal magazine rack instead of stashing them with your porn.
 
there you go! this was really stupid, so i dont think ill be doing another guide anytime soon. if you have any questions or comments, please call Jamie Ferguson at
 
1-(847)-502-7241
 
REVIEW
Fun
4 Stars (Out of 5)
 
its really awesome, until somebody gets hurt. or until Stinky ButtCloud arrives, because then it gets...you know....less fun.