spongebob squarepants isnt funny. and its not cool to say you like it. so you can pretend youre in seventh grade and brag about how you watch a childrens cartoon about a retarded sponge, or you can be an adult, which means you can drink coffee and read the paper and stuff. its up to you.

the ramones arent good. they dont rock, and its not cool to say you like them. they were idiots who made a handful of fun, catchy songs 30 years ago and then hung around pointlessly until joey finally kicked the bucket. aknowledge that they were influential, tip your hat, and listen to some decent music for a change. and if youre one of those 13-year-olds stumbling around FYE with a ramones t-shirt, go watch sponge bob, jackass.

the used arent good. they dont rock, and you dont look badass if you say you like them. the lead singer went out with kelly osbourne, the stupidest, worst person on the planet. they rip off glassjaw excessively and they're about as intelligent, rebelious and hard as limp bizkit. also, for the record, limp bizkit is very un-hard and un-rebelious and unintelligent.

the cubs arent cool. theyre a product of excessive marketing hype and an idioticly perky, ignorant fan base. basically, theyre the used of baseball. this is not to say that all cubs fans are morons, but a lot of them are. the white sox had the 4th best record in baseball for the 1990s. the cubs, to put it lightly, did not. the white sox have a decent ballpark to play in, too, and a neighborhood with LOWER crime rates than the northsiders. and unlike the cubs, youre not required to love them as an american, which just makes them that much cooler and non-conformist-y.

REVIEW
Goatees
3 Stars (Out of 5)

go with the abe lincoln instead. or a soul patch. now THOSE are facial hairstyles that dont make you dont look like a fatass idiot.